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Does This Help You Start?

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Go ahead and start that thing you’ve put off starting.  I mean, what else were you going to do today?  Dillydally around some more, thinking about starting?

Go ahead and start. In baby steps like always.  Like most adults do.  Check on your results as you go; tweak your baby plan to alter your results.

I’m Pulling For You

Go ahead and start.  We’re pulling for you. We’ll be here when you’re done.

Let us know how it went.  Get ready to tell us in brilliant colorful detail all the pains and bumps you went through at the beginning, all the challenges and peaks and valleys of getting it done.  Then click above and describe your victory celebration.  Or the one beer you had, toasting yourself.

Ready?  .  .  .

 

 

 

Watch Out for This Threat To Your Performance

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Your brain is wired to be on the lookout for threats.  That’s good and bad at the same time.  The brain tells you there’s a tiger in the bushes and you react. That’s good.

But Sometimes It’s Bad

If you had a childhood where you had to look out for yourself or protect yourself a lot of the time, then you might see threats at work where other people see nothing.  If your brain is wired to spot threats and your emotions are ingrained to expect threats, you may be seeing threats to your career where there are none.  Except the ones you are manufacturing.

That’s Deadly

For a leader, a program manager, or a business developer, imagined threats can be deadly to your performance.  You might overreact to nothing at all, and miss the chance to really manage something that actually needs you.  All the time and emotion spent reacting to imagined threats can stunt your career just as much as real threats can.  Leaders can’t afford that.

Everything Is Affected

Your career, your emotions, and the people you lead can’t afford the drama that comes from you fighting threats that aren’t there.  You and the people you lead can’t afford the time and emotion you spend wondering why you don’t feel any safer, and going off to fight again, when it turns out you weren’t in danger in the first place.

Except Now You Are

Except maybe now you are in danger because of your overreaction.

Have you ever reacted to a threat that turned out to be nothing?  Please leave a comment and tell us what you’re thinking.

 

Do These Serious Words Hurt Your Performance?

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“Just being stubborn can look a lot like courage!”  was the quote my client gave me.  I agree and it got me wondering.  In today’s climate of business books and blogs about every conceivable high-sounding skill we “have to have” to succeed, are the serious-sounding labels worrying us and hurting our performance?

  • Books say we have to have “courage”.  Courage is good, but can’t we just be stubborn and optimistic?
  • We have to have “vision”.  Could we just have clear, constructive, dynamic plans for the future?
  • We have to be “assertive”.  Can we just be clear-thinking, gracious, plain-spoken, and undistractable?

I like the plain words.  I want my clients and readers to be clear-thinking, gracious, and undistractable.

If you like the plain words too, what examples can you think of?  Please comment; I would thoroughly enjoy discussing this with you.

Which Tools To Solve This Problem Are Right In Front of You?

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Recently I mentioned I didn’t like Dan Brown’s book Angels and Demons. The plot was a little too repetitive for my taste.

Problem solving

The female hero did have two strong problem-solving techniques. I covered one in that recent post; here’s the other. As her situation becomes more dangerous, she “was starting to come unhinged…feeling terrible frustration with no tools to handle it. You have tools, she told herself, you always have tools. What tools are right here in front of me in this room? What data are right here?”

You have the data

You have plenty of data around you that you can plug right into tools you already know how to use. You usually have ample data, tools, and therefore, answers.  You have tools, tell yourself, what tools are right here in front of me?

Be still

You just have to be still enough, for long enough, to tell yourself:  I have the tools and the answers.

I know this works because I’ve used it.

Do you think it will work for you too?  Please share your thoughts.  I look forward to hearing from you.

The Answer’s Right There – Do You See It?

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I didn’t like Dan Brown’s book Angels and Demons. The plot was too repetitive for me, and it is not true that man can direct and limit God’s plans. But I liked this line from the female hero. Cornered by the bad guy, she said to herself, “Remember! Remember the answer to this!”

Can you hear what she’s doing?

Rather than ask her mind for an answer to what looked like an unsolvable problem, instead she told her mind simply to remember it. The supposition that she knew the answer created the idea that the answer already exists in her mind, thus eliminating the hopelessness and the churning mind.

I’ve tried it.

“Remember!  Remember the answer to this!”  has eased my mind and freed my problem-solving every time I’ve tried it.  Try it.  Tell me if it works for you.

The character has another problem-solving technique I’ll describe tomorrow.

Do you have a favorite problem-solving or mind management technique that calms you down and helps you solve problems?  Please ‘Comment’ and tell us about it.

 

Watch Out – Don’t Be Good At This

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My husband and I were having a deep conversation about being diligent and deliberate, working every day toward goals, not slacking off or procrastinating. I described that I recover well from a wasted hour or a day spent procrastinating; I say I needed the rest or that it was good to get so many low-ranking tasks done.

But I was lying.

The truth is I’m embarrassed, a little ashamed, and I beat myself up pretty badly about procrastinating.  Here’s what I’m good at: I’m good at taking the shame and promising to do better next time.

I announced, “I’ve made a decision.”

“I do not want to be good at taking the shame and making excuses. I do not want to practice that ability anymore. I do not want to be good at it. There are other things I want to be good at instead.”  I listed a few.

I can’t say strongly enough to watch out for the things you practice being good at.  Do you agree? What things do you practice being good at that might be doing you harm?

Please comment and join the conversation! 

Watch My TEDx Talk

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Speaking at TEDx Creative Coast 2014 was a terrifically fun experience.  Even better was listening to the other fantastic speakers.   My TEDx topic was the always-daunting and mysterious “How To Stop Time”.  Watch the video to learn how!

My TEDx Talk starts with Drew’s awesome introduction at minute 2:54:13.  Watch us all on livestream.com.  I’ll post my individual video as soon as the video guys have it ready.  Enjoy and please tell me if you like it.

How To Make An Enemy: Deliberately

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You’ve heard this advice before but we can’t repeat it often enough.  You are welcome to make casual friends; you are welcome to make friends casually, almost by happenstance.

But make enemies deliberately.

Make an enemy, or allow the person to go on thinking she is your enemy, only after careful deliberation.  After careful, deliberate thought, after thinking through what happened and all that could happen.

Make or keep an enemy only after seeing clearly that having that person as your enemy will get you only your good, and will never and can never harm you, your career, those you love and serve, or your mission.

How likely is that?

What is Self-Esteem Anyway?

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I’ve had so many coaching clients ask me what self-esteem is.  Instead of the dictionary definition, I gave them one from my own experience: “you will esteem yourself when you act consistently in a way that you and other persons of quality esteem.”  I think I got pretty close.

I’ve also been thinking a lot lately about plans – good plans, bad plans, failed plans.  What do you think of this definition of self-esteem?  “You will esteem yourself when you have successfully weathered and gotten smarter after the failure of a good number of really fine plans.”

Seems like that one fits the current atmosphere well.  What do you think?

Do You Want The Truth or The Consequences?

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Scanning Hulu.com I saw the movie title Truth or Consequences fly by.  It reminds me that there is only ever the truth about something or the consequences.

The Truth?

Does this sound familiar?

The truth is “I could’ve been friendlier with the new employee just now, could have asked about her move here” because the consequence weeks later will be “It’s no wonder she never warmed up to me.  Now she thinks I slight her.  I’m at the bottom of her list.”

The truth is “One day I’ll have hurt my health with all this stress and lousy eating” because the consequence is “I sure hope the doctor can help me.  The last one couldn’t.  Gosh, I better not lose my job ever – – I need the insurance for all these doctor visits.”

Or The Consequences?

Does this sound familiar?

The truth is “I have to find more clients.  Since I hate cold calling, I better work my network today to get a warm introduction to the buyer at Acme Corporation” because the consequence is “I procrastinated too much.  I was too anxious, I didn’t get coaching, and now I’m getting fired.”

There’s only ever the truth or the consequences.

Do you agree?  Please comment and tell me your opinion.

 

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